13 Nov 2014

Two Is The Magic Number

Since our baby son Alex arrived in July, I have been in a bubble of happiness. It’s strange how such a small person can make such a huge impact on our lives, but he undeniably has. His arrival has made our little family complete. Not in a family planning kind of way (though that, too!), but by making us a unit of four, an entity that I feel we were destined to be.

John and I always knew that we wanted two children, even though or probably because – ironically – we are both only children, and we both hate it (more on that in a separate post soon). So giving Becky a sibling didn’t need much discussing, though we had slightly differing views on when exactly to expand the Griffiths clan. For John, this couldn’t have come soon enough (well, it’s easy to say for men, isn’t it?), whereas I wanted a slightly bigger age gap, regain a little bit of “me” first, enjoy my job again for a while, as well as generally dedicating some time exclusively to Becky before sharing out our attention and affection to another child.

What I wasn’t prepared for, however, was how amazing I would find motherhood the second time round and how different the experience is.

Following the birth of Becky, I found adjusting to life as a first time Mum hard.  After a traumatic labour we went straight into breastfeeding problems, colic, a constantly screaming baby and what I now know was a degree of postnatal depression, and the sleepless nights (and days!) nearly sent me over the edge. I remember just wanting to go back to work, where I knew what I was doing and that I was good at it, as opposed to looking after a baby, which I had no clue about and felt like I was failing at every hurdle.

So, despite everyone telling me beforehand that the second time is easier, I was sceptical and braced myself for the worst. “I just need to get through the first 12 weeks”, I kept telling myself, “then I will be ok”.

But I’ve been more than ok. And it didn’t take 12 weeks. As soon as Alex was handed to me in the delivery room with the words “It’s a boy!” (we didn’t find out the sex beforehand), I’ve been overcome by this wave of love and euphoria that just isn’t waning. Feeding isn’t an issue, he hasn’t got colic (thank Goodness!)  and while Alex is now almost sleeping through the night, even the early days of waking several times for a feed didn’t seem to bother me in the slightest. What’s more, I’m embracing my maternity leave, which I considered boring and isolating the first time round, and love making new mummy friends, joining mummy groups or just spending precious one-on-one time with Alex while Becky is at pre-school.

The fact that Alex is a boy is the icing on the cake. It totally wouldn’t have mattered if he had turned out to be a girl, it would have been absolutely lovely, but to have one each – our little girl with our little boy – does feel extra special. And I’m perpetually on cloud nine. Becky and Alex = happiness times two.  


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