11 May 2015

Illnesses & Cuddles

Alex has been ill for the last five or so days. He caught the same gastro-bug that John and I had last week and the week before, and he has been suffering really badly, the poor baby. He is puking all over the place, and it has been getting worse since the weekend; he’s off his food, sleeping lots and is generally very whiny and unhappy.

It’s another illness in a long string of infections and ailments over the last few months. Actually, we have been playing pass the parcel with illnesses ever since I went back to work, and it’s probably inevitable that Becky’s going to be next. *Here’s positive thinking for you, ha!*

We took him to the out of hours doctor on Saturday, who said that it should be slowly subsiding, but it doesn’t seem to be, so I’ll probably have to take him back and get checked over again. 

I’m a bit worried about him. It’s awful seeing my little boy in such distress and clearly not feeling very well (he’s got conjunctivitis, too, to top it all off), and I just wish I could take it away from him and make it better in an instant.

On the upside, we’ve been having lots and lots of cuddles. While it’s obviously awful when your baby is ill, there is something about them being so cuddly and in need of affection that is so endearing and heart-warming. Alex is nowhere calmer then when he is with me, embraced and held tightly, and it’s these moments that – maybe ironically – are the best about motherhood.

Being needed. Being able to comfort. Being able to soothe. Being able to show love, just pure and raw love.

And being loved back. Because as much as I can show Alex that I love him and make him feel safe and secure, he, too, is showing me that he loves me. He’s nine months old, but he can totally convey that he loves me.

By looking into my eyes and really taking in my face and my features and holding my gaze for ages.

By getting upset when I leave the room and instantly calming down when I’m back.

By pressing his head and his sloppy lips against my cheek as if to kiss me. 

By giving me the biggest smiles and giggles that a baby can give.

And it makes my heart just melt.

So whilst I really hope that he will get better overnight and is back to being the lively little lad that he is, I don’t mind staying up with him and cuddling him for as long as he needs. Because this is motherhood. The best bits. 

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