12 Oct 2015

The Mummy Improvement List


As motherhood goes, I think I’m doing ok. Not perfect, by any stretch  - who is? - but I think I’m doing alright at this Mummy thing. I give my kids an endless amount of affection, I try to be fair, treat them well and try to balance giving them independence with setting necessary boundaries. But most importantly, I love them more than anything in the world and I would do anything for them.

However, I am also aware of my shortcomings. The things I’m not so good at. Especially lately, as we’ve been going through the transition of Becky starting school and me having quite a stressful old time balancing work and motherhood and worrying about a thousand and one things that are going on elsewhere, I’ve caught myself coming short of being the mummy I want to be. I’ve been stressed and short fused at times, and my mind has been mainly occupied with getting through my daily to do lists and everyday worries rather than really focusing on being a Mum. So I’ve written a little list of the key things I want to work on and improve, so that I’m the best mummy I can be for my kids.

1. Patience
A biggie for me. I have really felt my patience levels being stretched and tested and diminish a lot lately, partially in response to the fact that Becky has been quite unruly and has not been listening to me at all (you can read all about it here). Also, as cute as he is, Alex, too, is a right handful at the moment, being the not-quite-baby-not-quite-toddler that he is. I’m not the most patient person anyway, but I have to accept that kids just tick very differently and that I have to adjust my expectations and frustration levels to their pace and personalities.

2. Playtime
I’m not particularly good at playing with my kids. It’s not just that I lack the imagination and child’s mindset, but I’m ashamed to say that more often than not I find it boring and dull, and then my mind wonders off to the 100 chores that I have to tick off and that I would rather be doing. Don’t get me wrong, I love spending time with my kids; I like doing crafts (even though I’m not very arty at all) or baking or just being out and about, but sitting at home and playing, especially if it involves role-play and me being a fairy princess (!) – that I really suck at. However, I realise just how much Becky loves it when I do take the time to play properly with her – and so does Alex, actually – so I’m determined to make more of an effort, for their sake.

3. Time
Which brings me to very issue of time. As a full time working Mum, time is the one thing I don’t have. There are just never enough hours in the day. It’s actually the one thing I struggle with most, having enough time to fit everything in. When the house is a mess (almost always!), the laundry is piling up and the bathroom needs a good clean, I often spend precious time whizzing around dealing with that, while Becky is on the iPad and Alex strapped in his high chair equipped with lots of different snacks to pacify him, when really, I could be and should be spending time with the kids first. I need to learn to let the house be a mess more and prioritise the kids. After all, how does one of those motivational sayings go? "Children will never remember whether the house was clean, but they will remember the precious moments they spent with their Mummy and Daddy" (or something like that). True dat.

4. Fun Mum
Which brings me to my last point, re-establishing a sense of fun. Both Alex and Becky are so funny and so cute, I need to focus more on this, be less shouty and grumpy and just enjoy their company and have fun with them. As I already said, I have been a bit stressed and short tempered lately, and even small things have been setting me off. But I’m determined to regain my inner zen and to appreciate how much fun my little monkeys are (even if they are very cheeky indeed!).  

* Linking up to Lets Talk Mommy's #ShareWithMe
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2 comments

  1. I think a lot of your points are linked actually - time and patience certainly are - I know that I have zero patience when I feel rushed or under pressure. My patience levels were at an all time low when I had much younger children, you might be pleased to hear it has improved with time. As for not playing and not being much fun, I'm the same. We can't be good at everything can we?

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  2. I don't think you are alone darling. I feel the exact same way with B starting school and MM at nursery two days and working fulltime in between the house is getting slacked on and my parenting is up to the task at all. I hate being short fused. I am trying to find balance and slow down in other areas life is just so fast pace these days. Its hard to keep up without missing out. I would love a spoonful of more patience at least. Thank you so much for linking up to Share With Me. I hope to see you again this week for another great round of #sharewithme

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